It Wrecked Him!

So if you, like me, have been trying to come to grips with Jesus Colome's "soft-tissue, lower right extremity issue," you'll be happy to know that it's been narrowed down a bit.

Thanks to Bill Ladson, we know it's not an extremity (unless you have a really droopy ass). It's his right buttocks. (Who knew that buttocks was singular and plural like biceps?)

Ladson adds:

Colome's problems with his buttocks is nothing new. He had the same problem during Spring Training and had to miss a few exhibition games, but was eventually able to work around the issue. This time, according to a baseball source, there are complications, and Colome needs surgery to fix the problem.

This brings any number of questions to mind, many of them entailing various forms of social disease. Clap, the syph, crabs -- hey, wait a minute; we just DID visit Baltimore!!! Hmmmm

How does one get an infection on just one side of one's buttock(s)?
Does he have to have a donut?
Will Ray King try to eat the donut?
Is "work around the issue" a great phrase in this context, or what?
Will his injury violate MLB's 'Roids policy? [rimshot]