Wednesday, March 28, 2007

AL Preview

A formal apology to the Japanese will come later...

Eastern Division

New York Yankees: (94-68)
Tragedy beckons
young children go without
Series rings to count

Boston Red Sox: (92-70)
Mystery pitch dives
now rises high, far and gone
'twas Beckett's curve ball

Toronto Blue Jays (82-80)
Skip off to fight with
B.J., A.J., Overbay.
Pray for rain in dome?

Baltimore Orioles (72-90)
Vitamin B-12
Fills their needles, makes them strong
like Pete's grip on purse

Tampa Bay (68-94)
Oh, no! Maddon Curse
their prospects wig out and now
Ty Wig bats clean up

Central Division

Detroit Tigers (87-75)

Pitchers' errant throws
like big thorn in tiger paw
pulled out with pine tar

Chicago White Sox (85-77)
Put it on the board
another Vazquez homer
and Ozzie's next slur

Cleveland Indians (83-79)
Rock stars to statheads:
If Hafner avoids scissors,
look good on paper

Minnesota Twins (82-80)
One thing is certain
Ramon Ortiz: not their ace
Just play the damn kids

Kansas City (69-93)
Rich King Gilgameche
lords over the pitching mound
you 'fraid he's just bad

Western Division
Los Angeles Angels (90-72)
Who needs OBP
when you have a steroid cheat
patrolling center?

Texas Rangers (84-78)
Wilkerson and Byrd
standing around the outfield
didn't work for us

Oakland A's (76-86)
Without the big three
Beane must write a new chapter
or start selling jeans

Seattle Mariners (75-87)
Falling from the sky
like rain comes the tears of kids
thinking of '01

MVP
Bottom of the ninth
bases loaded and two outs
ARod has come through

Cy Young
Happy days are here
for our Canadian friends
Halladay on top

AL Champion:
What will Manny be
with a second ring on hand
and grill he can't sell