Highway To Hell

Is there anything more deflating than a close, tension-filled game being blown open in the 9th inning? I know the pillows on my couch certainly don’t like it when that happens, and it’s a good thing they don’t bruise.

This is a stupid team playing stupid baseball right now. It’s not the small-ball fundamentals they’re getting wrong either -- at least the kind the bunt fetishists always seem to talk about. They’re the heads-up little league fundamentals that you rarely see winning teams screw up. There were two glaring examples last night.

One was Brad Wilkerson throwing to the wrong base in the 9th inning, on the bases-loaded SF. The throw HAS to come into second base to keep the double play in order. It didn’t. And, in actuality, Jose "Guzman-Lite" Reyes would’ve scored from first on the ensuing double anyway. But, that’s absolutely the wrong play in that situation.

The other was in the 7th (? I’m going by memory here, so forgive some errors!) Wilkerson was batting, with Cristian Guzman on second base. There’s one out. Guzman attempts the steal, and is thrown out. It’s unclear whether David Wright actually got the tag down, but Mike Piazza’s limp-wristed throw beat him clearly.

The old baseball adage is that you can’t be thrown out at third on the first or third outs. But, why is it acceptable on the second? (Especially when one pitch later, Brad Wilkerson strikes out for the delayed double play) Piazza, despite not having thrown out multiple base runners in the same game since the Carter administration, has a clear shot at third with a lefty hitting. It’s an easy, short, obstructionless throw down to the bag.

I know why he was trying to do it. It’s obviously easier to score from third with less than two outs, but it’s also not an automatic lock, especially with a strikeout machine at bat. Let’s face it, with Wilkerson at bat, it’s probably either a hit, or a K. If Guzman is on third, the K doesn’t help. And if Wilkerson gets a hit, he scores from second anyway. Further, the Nats would have had Wilkerson and Nick Johnson up, trying to drive that run in. NJ has been the team’s hottest hitter over the last week or so. He didn’t get a chance.

Earlier, The Walking Stick, who’s doing his best Grizzly Adams impersonation, was thrown out by Piazza, when he tried to steal second. NJ demonstrated, again, his patented feet-first belly-down slide into second. As he starts his slide, he corkscrews himself around, as if he were trying to drill into the bag. It works about as well as you’d imagine.

John Patterson, who I swear was wearing eye shadow, pitched less than spectacularly. He couldn’t get his curve over for strikes. And when he did, it just didn’t have the same bite we’re used to. It was an effective outing for a pitcher who was working with little.

Joey Eischen relieved and made one of the ugliest plays you’ll see, both in terms of comedy and tragedy.

First, the comedy. He dived off to the right side of the mound to snare a high bouncer. As he lept into the air, he did his best Flipper impersonation, arcing and twisting his body to the right in a half-moon shape.

Then, the tragedy. When he landed, he planted with his right arm, snapping his arm. He’ll be out 8-12 weeks after surgery. (That’s definitely a pretty extreme way of avoiding having Frank blow your arm out on you!)

I did a similar thing a few years back. They generally don’t do surgery unless you only break one of the arm bones, and then they usually put a plate in. Thankfully, he had the smarts to plant with his right arm. Since he doesn’t need to worry about batting (although he’s already batted twice) he can probably come back on the low end of the estimate. If Chad Bentz could do it last year, Eischen can this year.

As frequent commenter Brian pointed out, the Official Least Favorite Pitcher of Capitol Punishment Joe Horgan has yet to retire a batter while in the minors. Further, he’s turned up lame, complaining of a sore shoulder. Speculation is that Claudio Vargas or Tony Armas will make the trip north. The only other viable option, and I use that in the most generous meaning possible, is Ed Yarnall. (I can practically hear your sighs as you read that!)

There was some competition for the Lame Duck. Ryan Church put in an early and a late bid, with a stink-fest offensive performance. 0-4. Yay. Then, in the 9th inning, he decided he’d take a lovely riparian stroll around the Anacostia as Carlos Beltran was ripping a double over his head. What an ugly route to the ball.

But the real Lame Duck was Luis Ayala. When he came in the eight, I said I wasn’t happy with the move. He got through the 8th. But then, Frank decided to Press His Luck. And he landed on the Whammy. Single, Single, Bunt single (on a truly horrid bunt defense) and the bases were loaded. I don’t really remember what happened next -- my rising blood pressure caused me to black out. But, I do remember that it hurt.

The next thing I know, there are two outs in the bottom of the 9th and Wilkerson’s in the box as the tying run. No Chance. None. Game Over. I can go to bed.


WTF Frank Senior Moment
As it has frequently in the past, it mirrors the Lame Duck. Ayala has pitched like festering dung lately. Even those African beetles wouldn’t want a piece of him.

When he’s going right, I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with trotting him out there for a second inning. (I would argue that he’s not appreciably better than Cordero) But, he’s not going right lately. (And you can argue that he is appreciably worse than Cordero)

But, in Frank’s defense, we’ve got an extra short bullpen now. The only other available relievers were Chad Cordero and Gary Majewski. Jon Rauch is out there, but I’m pretty sure he’ll start Tuesday. And Zach Day still has whooping cough or rubella (I forget which)

If the game had gone long enough, it would have been fun watching Zach Day fall off the mound after each pitch though.


Now they’re on the road, facing the unstoppable juggernaut that is LA, the cavalcade of seniors in San Fran, and the impossible to figure out Diamondbacks in AZ. We’ve got nine games, and 4-5 is probably the best we can hope for.

Tread water! That’s all I’m asking!