Tuesday, May 08, 2007

You Know You've Hit Rock Bottom When...

... you call up Tony Feckin' Batista!!!!

What? Bob Hamelin wasn't available? Rob Deere is out of country? Ray Knight wasn't willing to play in a non-chartreuse jersey? Cecil Fielder is hurt?


Actually, that's not fair to those guys; they all were quite good at one time or another. When Batista was 24 and capable of playing shortstop, he was good.

Now he's old, ancient, immobile and unable to do anything besides smack a homer every 40 times he comes to the plate, making an out in 33 of those other times.

  • Lesson of the day: Never trust Barry Svrluga!

    To clear room for Batista and Simontacchi, they DFAd Josh Wilson (expected) and DLd Ryan Wagner (unexpected).

    Wagner supposedly has right rotator cuff inflamation. {hmmm... do I make the Wayne Krivsky traded us a pig in a poke joke? or do I go with "right rotator cuff inflamation is medicalese for "he sucks" joke?}

  • As usual, Distinguished Senator's take is much more entertaining, accurate, and jpeg-filled. Sample highlight: "We last saw him in the Caribbean World Series and couldn't believe that he was only 33. He has skinny little Tyrannosaurus Rex arms, which is even weirder looking what with his gut and ass having a perpetual protrusion contest below them. He looks like a fertility idol."

    Plus, you get to discover the source of Don Sutton's humor.


    • Its the same ailment that John Patterson is suffering from. It's very common on this team.

      To quote the movie "The Natural","Losing is a disease..."

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/08/2007 7:29 PM  

    • Rob DEER. You have no respect for the legends

      By Blogger Harper, at 5/08/2007 8:46 PM  

    • What is with the Milwaukee sausage race?

      It brings out the worst in our announcers. Last night it was Sutton saying that "Teddy can't outrun Larry Flynt." Then tonight it was Carpenter saying in reference to the Italian Sausage that he has "offly fair skin."

      Am I on another planet and heard that wrong. I'm not judging...I'm just saying that was weird.

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/08/2007 10:02 PM  

    • I thought that Larry Flynt comment was kind of strange, and it gave me some uncomfortable insight into what Sutton does all day before he goes to the park.

      It's the perm.

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/08/2007 11:35 PM  

    • sad as it sounds, batista > wilson, both at the plate and in the field. damned with faint praise, to be sure. and if we had another one of our famous 25 or 26 year old "prospects" we would have brought him up instead.

      i still need to research it, but wilson may have set some sort of record for E's per inning. what was it, like 6 in 27 innings? and that doesn't even address the completely wasted PHs, failed bunt attempts, etc. no, i won't miss him.

      By Blogger DCPowerGator, at 5/09/2007 9:13 AM  

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