Tuesday, May 08, 2007

You Know You've Hit Rock Bottom When...

... you call up Tony Feckin' Batista!!!!

What? Bob Hamelin wasn't available? Rob Deere is out of country? Ray Knight wasn't willing to play in a non-chartreuse jersey? Cecil Fielder is hurt?


Actually, that's not fair to those guys; they all were quite good at one time or another. When Batista was 24 and capable of playing shortstop, he was good.

Now he's old, ancient, immobile and unable to do anything besides smack a homer every 40 times he comes to the plate, making an out in 33 of those other times.

  • Lesson of the day: Never trust Barry Svrluga!

    To clear room for Batista and Simontacchi, they DFAd Josh Wilson (expected) and DLd Ryan Wagner (unexpected).

    Wagner supposedly has right rotator cuff inflamation. {hmmm... do I make the Wayne Krivsky traded us a pig in a poke joke? or do I go with "right rotator cuff inflamation is medicalese for "he sucks" joke?}

  • As usual, Distinguished Senator's take is much more entertaining, accurate, and jpeg-filled. Sample highlight: "We last saw him in the Caribbean World Series and couldn't believe that he was only 33. He has skinny little Tyrannosaurus Rex arms, which is even weirder looking what with his gut and ass having a perpetual protrusion contest below them. He looks like a fertility idol."

    Plus, you get to discover the source of Don Sutton's humor.


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