Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Top N+1 Reasons Why We Hate Bowden Today

  1. We have a short pitching staff, and he replaces an injured reliever with an outfielder.

  2. We have outfielders coming out our wazoos and he replaces an injured outfielder with an outfielder.

  3. One of the outfielders he brought up is 42 years old and swings like he’s trying to draw an oar through molasses.

  4. That same outfielder isn’t really even hitting minor league pitching all that well.

  5. That same outfielder can’t really play defense any more; he makes Baerga look spry.

  6. The other outfielder is a head case who failed to understand what he needed to do to stay on the team despite a plethora of articles focusing on him the entire spring.

  7. That same outfielder blasted everyone on the team for not communicating to him when he was dumped on his slap-hitting ass at the end of spring training.

  8. That same pathetic excuse for a Major League hitter utterly failed to do what he was asked to work on when he was sent to New Orleans.

  9. That same outfielder was soundly out-hit by a Rule-5 pickup and a career Minor Leaguer.

  10. That same player will bring his bad attitude to the team, and will most likely act sullen, polluting the work environment.

  11. What kind of message does it send to the other players in your system that a non-producing malcontent gets promoted by attrition?

  12. The team currently has enough outfielders; if you count Tony Blanco it already has five. Now, it has seven.

  13. The team has seven outfielders!

  14. Unless it’s seventh-grade gym class, you only need three.

  15. This team has one backup middle infielder.

  16. This team has two backup corner men.

  17. If you were ranking roster needs of this team it would go: (Reliever or Middle Infielder) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Crap-hitting outfielder

  18. With Sledge’s injury, it would be a perfect time to give Ryan Church a real shot to show whether he can be a major league hitter.

  19. Now, he’ll be battling for playing time with a collection of stiffs.

Alright… you get the picture.

The only thing that I can think of for a rational defense is that these are temporary moves. They obviously need, and would like to bring up a pitcher, but there’s no one down there they’d really like. Given that Tony Armas and Claudio Vargas are soon unDLable (along with Henry Mateo) these two are probably coming up to give the team a few days of breathing room to sort things out.

There’s no reason these sacks of flesh can’t be sent on their merry ways back to New Orleans. (And I’ll practically guarantee that they have round-trip tickets.)

They’re hoping they can get by for a few days short a pitcher. (How weird is it to see a team with only a 10-man staff? [Other than Hank Bauer back in ‘66]) I hope it works. I hope Day doesn’t get dizzy and fall off the mound in the second inning tonight. That’d really eff things up for a day or two.

The other possibility is that this is foreshadowing a trade. Maybe they’re snooping around for a lefty reliever, and they think something’s imminent.

I’m grasping at straws here. And I still don’t know why they couldn’t just bring up Short or Harris. Either would’ve provided a little something tonight.

Any other possibilities that I missed? Other than Bowden’s an asshat?

The bright side? The return of the Inning-Endy-O-Meter!


  • How about just a rule in general banning Jim Bowden (and Frank who had to have had some say in this) from within 50 yards of all Major League facilities.

    By Blogger Chris Needham, at 5/03/2005 2:58 PM  

  • I actually amended one of my things. I'm a stathead at heart, but I do believe that things like chemistry are a factor.

    And although I think Eischen was liked, I'm sure there are plenty of people who thought he was an ass. But, he was also a valuable member of this team.

    And I can't imagine that Endy made any friends with the way he ripped everything on his way down. I'm just floored that Godwin didn't get the callup before him.

    By Blogger Chris Needham, at 5/03/2005 3:06 PM  

  • Good point about the options.... But...

    Godwin's how old? 24?

    Even using an option year this year,it wouldn't matter that much. I can't imagine that he's going to be in the team's long-term plans (especially if he doesn't improve his minor league performance)

    By Blogger Chris Needham, at 5/03/2005 3:17 PM  

  • What's his value though? He's not a hitter. He's a Tom Goodwin-style hitter. Slight on-base skills, slap-hitting, and no power. His value is in his legs. And they're not getting any younger.

    So, if we lose a year off the backend of the deal, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

    That being said, I wouldn't have brought him up either. Middle Infielders are much higher on my priority list.

    By Blogger Chris Needham, at 5/03/2005 3:25 PM  

  • this had better be temporary. or else it's perhaps the stupidest move ever

    By Blogger Rocket1124, at 5/03/2005 3:28 PM  

  • Ah... this explains it:
    "I went with the recommendations of the people we have down there -- [New Orleans Manager] Tim Foli and [special assistants] Jose Cardenal and Bob Boone.

    Bob Boone is the worst 'baseball man' this side of Dallas Green.

    By Blogger Chris Needham, at 5/03/2005 3:29 PM  

  • And a lot of Hot-air-filled fat that reeks of BS

    By Blogger Chris Needham, at 5/03/2005 3:42 PM  

  • Thanks Yuda... at least something brought a smile to my face today.


    By Blogger Chris Needham, at 5/03/2005 3:55 PM  

  • I feel Much Better now.

    By Blogger Chris Needham, at 5/03/2005 4:05 PM  

  • wait, who sucks?

    By Blogger Rocket1124, at 5/03/2005 4:20 PM  

  • ok, so now my boss thinks I'm crazy.... laughing so hard at that

    By Blogger Rocket1124, at 5/03/2005 4:38 PM  

  • and after a statement like that - maybe you'd better put up a picture of yourself with a closed mouth

    By Blogger Rocket1124, at 5/03/2005 4:39 PM  

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