Top N+1 Reasons Why We Hate Bowden Today

1. We have a short pitching staff, and he replaces an injured reliever with an outfielder.
   
   
2. We have outfielders coming out our wazoos and he replaces an injured outfielder with an outfielder.
   
   
3. One of the outfielders he brought up is 42 years old and swings like he’s trying to draw an oar through molasses.
   
   
4. That same outfielder isn’t really even hitting minor league pitching all that well.
   
   
5. That same outfielder can’t really play defense any more; he makes Baerga look spry.
   
   
6. The other outfielder is a head case who failed to understand what he needed to do to stay on the team despite a plethora of articles focusing on him the entire spring.
   
   
7. That same outfielder blasted everyone on the team for not communicating to him when he was dumped on his slap-hitting ass at the end of spring training.
   
   
8. That same pathetic excuse for a Major League hitter utterly failed to do what he was asked to work on when he was sent to New Orleans.
   
   
9. That same outfielder was soundly out-hit by a Rule-5 pickup and a career Minor Leaguer.
   
   
10. That same player will bring his bad attitude to the team, and will most likely act sullen, polluting the work environment.
    
    
11. What kind of message does it send to the other players in your system that a non-producing malcontent gets promoted by attrition?
    
    
12. The team currently has enough outfielders; if you count Tony Blanco it already has five. Now, it has seven.
    
    
13. The team has seven outfielders!
    
    
14. Unless it’s seventh-grade gym class, you only need three.
    
    
15. This team has one backup middle infielder.
    
    
16. This team has two backup corner men.
    
    
17. If you were ranking roster needs of this team it would go: (Reliever or Middle Infielder) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Crap-hitting outfielder
    
    
18. With Sledge’s injury, it would be a perfect time to give Ryan Church a real shot to show whether he can be a major league hitter.
    
    
19. Now, he’ll be battling for playing time with a collection of stiffs.

Alright… you get the picture.

The only thing that I can think of for a rational defense is that these are temporary moves. They obviously need, and would like to bring up a pitcher, but there’s no one down there they’d really like. Given that Tony Armas and Claudio Vargas are soon unDLable (along with Henry Mateo) these two are probably coming up to give the team a few days of breathing room to sort things out.

There’s no reason these sacks of flesh can’t be sent on their merry ways back to New Orleans. (And I’ll practically guarantee that they have round-trip tickets.)

They’re hoping they can get by for a few days short a pitcher. (How weird is it to see a team with only a 10-man staff? [Other than Hank Bauer back in ‘66]) I hope it works. I hope Day doesn’t get dizzy and fall off the mound in the second inning tonight. That’d really eff things up for a day or two.

The other possibility is that this is foreshadowing a trade. Maybe they’re snooping around for a lefty reliever, and they think something’s imminent.

I’m grasping at straws here. And I still don’t know why they couldn’t just bring up Short or Harris. Either would’ve provided a little something tonight.

Any other possibilities that I missed? Other than Bowden’s an asshat?

The bright side? The return of the Inning-Endy-O-Meter!