Tuesday, June 12, 2007

What A Guy

Not only does Elijah Dukes threaten to kill his wife, but he also knocks up 17-year old girls who are foster children of his relatives. Charming.

This is now his sixth kid by five different women.

Maybe the Nationals' interest is all part of "The PLAN!"? If the Nats trade for Dukes, he'll single-handedly help to create legions of new Nationals fans and future ticket buyers.

Hey, Jim! I hear Bobby Chouinard is available!

posted by Chris Needham at 10:20 PM

13 Comments:

  • If Stan Kasten stepped in and vetoed an Alfonso Soriano trade last year, he darn well better exercise that power here too.

    Just Say NO to Baby Daddies.

    By Blogger Nate, at 6/12/2007 10:53 PM  

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with baby daddies, Nate. A lot of players in the league and other sports leagues who are in their early 20s have kids.

    It's those who have 6 kids with 5 different women with at least one of them we know is underaged you need to keep off your roster.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/12/2007 11:39 PM  

  • link

    DON'T WORRY ELIJAH, DMITRI YOUNG IS GOING TO NUTURE YOU!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/12/2007 11:42 PM  

  • nurture... sorry, got caught up in YELLING.


    I think I've commented enough for this blog post today.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/12/2007 11:43 PM  

  • 1) How in the world can there be an ANONYMOUS tipster in a paternity case?

    2) How do we know Steve Garvey is not the father? We need Maury Povich on this pronto.

    3) Elijah, if you're reading this, please visit the following webpage:

    http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control/condom.htm

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/13/2007 12:27 AM  

  • The baby daddy thing doesn't bother me enough to not want the player on the team. It's not great, but it's basically just stupidity. The threatening the life of his wife and kids and sending the picture of a gun is much worse to me and goes beyond just part of his private life. I really hope he isn't allowed on this team. -cass

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/13/2007 7:44 AM  

  • jim - we beg you, just say no to the dukester! this is dc, not tampa, florida. although, unfortunately, our baseball team often does a very good imitation of theirs.

    By Blogger DCPowerGator, at 6/13/2007 8:36 AM  

  • By itself it doesn't mean anything, but it's part of a pattern of behavior indicating that he's not just dangerous, but immature and irresponsible. Of course, lots of ballplayers are the last two; it's just that they don't usually combine it with the first one for the Trifecta of hell.

    By Blogger Chris Needham, at 6/13/2007 8:43 AM  

  • This guy has Rae Carruth written all over him. I do not need to have to explain to my kids that our centerfielder is going to be away for a while because he shot somebody to death.

    By Blogger John O'Connor, at 6/13/2007 9:49 AM  

  • I'm really disappointed the comments have gotten this far without a "Shawn Kemp is the front-runner for the new Director of Future Player Personnel" joke. Or any Shawn Kemp joke at all, really.

    By Blogger Chris Pendley, at 6/13/2007 10:50 AM  

  • If this happens, check eBay for a large, large collection of Nats stuff. Four jersies, lots of Ts, about 50 hats, a couple of watches, a money clip, sweatshirts, bobbleheads. I'll either sell it or have a bonfire.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/13/2007 11:40 AM  

  • I think a guy like this is exactly what we need. You know, give us a little toughness, a little intimidation factor. I bet Andruw Jones thinks twice about robbing a homer from us if he knows he's gonna get kneecapped after the game.
    We could even have a new promo....Glock night at RFK!

    By Blogger Rob B, at 6/13/2007 1:46 PM  

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