Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Weep For Ray King

There was a game tonight?

Netflix Report: No movie tonight. Just a trip to Huntley Meadows and Target. The prior is prettier and cheaper, though the latter smells better.

Sad news for Ray King:
Starting with the current homestand, the team got rid of junk food such as M&Ms, Milky Way bars, Twinkies and Skittles. In are fruits, walnuts, carrots and a salad bar. Fried chicken has also been banned from the premises. Instead, they will have rotisserie chicken.

According to general manager Jim Bowden, the idea came from catcher Brian Schneider and right-hander John Patterson, who felt it was time for the team to eat healthier. Bowden, trainer Lee Kuntz and clubhouse manager Mike Wallace agreed with the plan and implemented it on Tuesday.

"It's important how we eat and take care of our body. You don't want to walk into a clubhouse and have junk food," Schneider said. "You want to give the guys choices and options. If they want to eat healthy, we have given them that choice. They took a lot of stuff out."

Poor Ray King. Buck sez his performance suffers.

Meanwhile, Brian Schneider's a food nazi? Choice, sure, so long as you like gray!

I'd make a Lerner Is Teh Cheeepp!1!1 joke, but I think the players chip in for the clubhouse spread.

Still, no skittles? What the hell kind of work operation are they trying to run there!!!! It's a little known rule, but if you check Title 8 U.S.C. (sections 1345(a), I think), Skittles are a constitutional right of the workforce. So Lerner might not be cheeeeep!!!! but he tramples on our civil rights. Have you no decency, sir?

7 Comments:

  • Poor Ray King. Buck sez his performance suffers.

    Is there a level below "sucktastic"?

    By Blogger Rocket1124, at 5/30/2007 10:24 PM  

  • "Guzmanian" ranks below sucktastic.

    How the hell is this team supposed to compete without performance-enhancing drugs, amphetamines, booze, AND junk food?

    This is baseball, damn-it! People chew tobacco, spit, scratch themselves, spit again, shuck sunflower seeds, eat hot dogs and cracker jacks, and spit some more!

    No wonder this team hasn't scored any runs since Sunday. Damn food Nazis.

    By Anonymous BrianH, at 5/30/2007 10:47 PM  

  • Next thing you know, the poor players won't have any juice in the rooms either! Fruit juice... I was talking about fruit juice.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/30/2007 11:01 PM  

  • So now that the team is 0-2 losing by a combined 15-0, how soon before the junk food comes back? Tonight? Tomorrow?

    By Blogger Harper, at 5/31/2007 9:33 AM  

  • So, is this Patterson's latest excuse? His arm hurts because of the 11 herbs and spices in the fried chicken?

    By Anonymous Simon Oliver Lockwood, at 5/31/2007 10:22 AM  

  • Fruits, vegetables and nuts are not cheap. Nothing wrong with having a variety though.

    By Anonymous Shawn, at 5/31/2007 10:42 AM  

  • What? No veggie dogs??

    By Blogger Bote Man, at 5/31/2007 4:51 PM  

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