My True Love Gave To Me
One of the advantages for being such good friends with the Lerners as I am is that from time to time, you get good, top-secret info. I was over at their place the other night, eating some gefilte fish, and I came across the Christmas lists of some of our various friends. I figured there'd be no harm in passing it along.
Jim Bowden: Leather buffing brush, home breathalyzer kit and something red.
Stan Kasten: Brisket-in-a-box, Scout's Honor and a new leash for Bowden.
Manny Acta: Pitching, pitching, pitching.
Frank Robinson: A really fluffy pillow, A new 4 iron and Aretha Franklin's "Respect."
Jose Vidro: Bionic knee, a big latte mug and a gift certificate to Golden Corral.
Nick Johnson: Ace bandages, Wooly Willy and a "Full Metal Jacket" DVD.
Cristian Guzman: A nifty T-Ball kit, ear plugs and a time machine to 2001.
Jose Guilen: Dueling pistols, Duct tape and rubber bands, and a blood pressure monitor.
The PA Announcer Guy: Spanish to English dictionary, Baseball for Dummies, English to English dictionary.
Randy St. Claire: Bailing wire, A Prayer Book, Jug of Tums.
Mitchell Page: Alfonso Soriano, Albert Pujols and Alex Rodriguez.
Ryan Church: Tabasco sauce to put fire in his belly, "How to Win Friends & Influence People" and some DVDs
Alfonso Soriano: extra-large wallet, gold-plated Rolls and a World Series ring.
John Patterson: An extra elbow tendon or two, two consecutive weeks of health and some Bengay
Chad Cordero: An iron for his hat, sparklers for the bullpen and Rolaids.
Chris Needham: Everything on this guy's list.
Have a great Christmas! I hope that Santa brings you all your non-Free-Agent wishes!
Jim Bowden: Leather buffing brush, home breathalyzer kit and something red.
Stan Kasten: Brisket-in-a-box, Scout's Honor and a new leash for Bowden.
Manny Acta: Pitching, pitching, pitching.
Frank Robinson: A really fluffy pillow, A new 4 iron and Aretha Franklin's "Respect."
Jose Vidro: Bionic knee, a big latte mug and a gift certificate to Golden Corral.
Nick Johnson: Ace bandages, Wooly Willy and a "Full Metal Jacket" DVD.
Cristian Guzman: A nifty T-Ball kit, ear plugs and a time machine to 2001.
Jose Guilen: Dueling pistols, Duct tape and rubber bands, and a blood pressure monitor.
The PA Announcer Guy: Spanish to English dictionary, Baseball for Dummies, English to English dictionary.
Randy St. Claire: Bailing wire, A Prayer Book, Jug of Tums.
Mitchell Page: Alfonso Soriano, Albert Pujols and Alex Rodriguez.
Ryan Church: Tabasco sauce to put fire in his belly, "How to Win Friends & Influence People" and some DVDs
Alfonso Soriano: extra-large wallet, gold-plated Rolls and a World Series ring.
John Patterson: An extra elbow tendon or two, two consecutive weeks of health and some Bengay
Chad Cordero: An iron for his hat, sparklers for the bullpen and Rolaids.
Chris Needham: Everything on this guy's list.
Have a great Christmas! I hope that Santa brings you all your non-Free-Agent wishes!
Labels: failed humor
posted by Chris Needham at
5:06 PM
6 Comments:
Damn it. I got Stan the Gary Coleman movie, "Scout's Honor". I thought it was weird we asked for that but I figured he just had a "thing" for Mona.
By
Harper, at 12/22/2006 2:12 AM
Jugs of tums. Aramark should get on that for '07.
Is Scouts Honor a good book? Will it give any insight into how Kasten wants to build the Nats? Or is it just a grumpy scout's rebuff of moneyball?
By
Anonymous, at 12/22/2006 8:48 AM
I haven't read it, but from the three or four reviews/accounts of it, it's basically a hatchet job on Moneyball and Michael Lewis.
By
Chris Needham, at 12/22/2006 8:50 AM
Very nice. Thanks. Happy Holidays
By
Screech's Best Friend, at 12/22/2006 11:13 AM
What about gifts for the two most important Nationals groups?
a)All Nationals bloggers: Some offseason news/fodder/comedy to keep you guys busy until Spring Training.
b) All Nationals fans:
Sense of humor, beer/whiskey/drink of choice, patience, and some Pepto (Tums and Rolaids are already taken)
By
Anonymous, at 12/22/2006 11:59 AM
Informative and entertaining list. Chad Cordero also could use a Slurpee machine, or gift certificates to 7-11.
By
Anonymous, at 12/25/2006 9:59 AM
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