My True Love Gave To Me

One of the advantages for being such good friends with the Lerners as I am is that from time to time, you get good, top-secret info. I was over at their place the other night, eating some gefilte fish, and I came across the Christmas lists of some of our various friends. I figured there'd be no harm in passing it along.

Jim Bowden: Leather buffing brush, home breathalyzer kit and something red.

Stan Kasten: Brisket-in-a-box, Scout's Honor and a new leash for Bowden.

Manny Acta: Pitching, pitching, pitching.

Frank Robinson: A really fluffy pillow, A new 4 iron and Aretha Franklin's "Respect."

Jose Vidro: Bionic knee, a big latte mug and a gift certificate to Golden Corral.

Nick Johnson: Ace bandages, Wooly Willy and a "Full Metal Jacket" DVD.

Cristian Guzman: A nifty T-Ball kit, ear plugs and a time machine to 2001.

Jose Guilen: Dueling pistols, Duct tape and rubber bands, and a blood pressure monitor.

The PA Announcer Guy: Spanish to English dictionary, Baseball for Dummies, English to English dictionary.

Randy St. Claire: Bailing wire, A Prayer Book, Jug of Tums.

Mitchell Page: Alfonso Soriano, Albert Pujols and Alex Rodriguez.

Ryan Church: Tabasco sauce to put fire in his belly, "How to Win Friends & Influence People" and some DVDs

Alfonso Soriano: extra-large wallet, gold-plated Rolls and a World Series ring.

John Patterson: An extra elbow tendon or two, two consecutive weeks of health and some Bengay

Chad Cordero: An iron for his hat, sparklers for the bullpen and Rolaids.

Chris Needham: Everything on this guy's list.

Have a great Christmas! I hope that Santa brings you all your non-Free-Agent wishes!