Give Rocket Bill A Helping Hand

Our good friend Bill Ladson needs some help. Ladson has taken it upon himself to nickname John Patterson. (See here or here) He gets an A for effort, but just a D- for execution. His suggestion, "The Big Nasty" sounds more like a byproduct of the water in Cancun than a name for any pitcher, let alone John Patterson. (Does this guy really look nasty anyway?)

Patterson may have a nasty curveball, and he may be tall, but he ain't big. The guy can't weigh more than 170 pounds.

Patterson, if anything, is lanky. And it sometimes looks as if (even thought we know he's not) wearing eyeliner. I always thought that Patterson looked a lot like David Bowie. But then I'm an idiot.

I appreciate Ladson's effort! I'm sick of the -ie suffix becoming a nickname. So I should be thrilled that he's not Pattie. But we can put our collective noggins together (and after giggling at the hollow banging sound) and come up with something better. What say you? What should Patterson's nickname be?