SIGN HIM NOW!!!1!1!!

The always excellent Dave Sheinin writes about the Nats #1 pick, Bryce Harper. Wait, sorry. The Nats (AHAHAHAHAHAH) have said (CHORTLECHORTLECHORTLE) that they're (LAOALAOLAALLOLOLOLLLLLOLL!) not yet (HEHEEHEEEHEHEHEH) committed to (BWWWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH) him yet (Guffawguffawguffaw).

At any rate, Shiney's article focuses on the dreaded character issue. And although it appears that the whole article's been edited in half of what it should've been, it's a good quick read.

Towards the end, Shiny uses a specific example of an in-game incident that some might use to judge his 'makeup'.*

* Makeup is the single stupidest word in all of baseball. What the hell does it actually mean? It's a meaningless, trite, valueless cliche. But it's the kind of jargon that, if you use it in the right context, it confers the notion of some kind of special knowledge. "Ah, he gets it," thinks the hoary ol' baseball man.

Here's what he wrote:

The taunts were coming from the opposing dugout, where the Western Nevada College Wildcats were, according to Chambers, "just wearing him out."

"You [stink], Harper!" "Overrated!" "Just throw him a curveball -- he can't hit it." According to Chambers, as Harper stepped into the batter's box, the catcher looked up and said, "You're not that [expletive] good."

Chambers picks up the story: "So he hits a home run. Jogs out of the box, takes a little time going around the bases. It's like, 'Oh, I can't hit that?' -- and it went over the lights, by the way. Anyway, so the next day he comes to the plate. The catcher says, 'If you pimp another homer like you did last night we're going to light you up.' Bryce looks down and says: 'Really? Maybe if you could hit one that far, you could pimp it.' "

Long story short, Harper homers again, makes a sarcastic salute to the Wildcats' bench as he rounds third. Next half-inning, with Harper in right field, he throws behind a runner who had just singled, trying to catch him rounding first base too far. When the Wildcats start hooting, Harper makes an exaggerated bow.

The umpire ejects him.

Here's what I think. In order: 1) Fuck the ump. 2) I love this guy.

SIGN HIM NOW!!!