Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Things Could Be Worse

Today's homer by everyone's favorite foul-mouthed thug followed yesterday's homer by everyone's favorite tall-assed weird stance guy, giving the Nats' two primary pinch-hitters their first two homers of the year. It's a far cry from last year when Daryle Ward hit a pinch hit homer every other game. (Or so it seemed; my memory's a bit fuzzy).

The interesting thing about today's game was that it was a giant FU to all the people clamoring for Cordero's head. Cordero was effective in two innings, shutting down the Dodgers -- guess he got those mechanical issues worked out, eh. Meanwhile, it was Luis Ayala, the man many thought should get the chance to close, who blew not one, but two leads. The team, as I've said, is teetering on the brink. These next four weeks are going to be ugly, and I'm fascinated to see 1) how Manny handles it or 2) if having your date puke all over you at then end of the night makes you forget about the good time you had in the middle.

At any rate, things could be worse. Here are the players every Nats fan should be thankful we don't employ:

1b: Richie Sexson, .208/ .298/ .405, 89 OPS+. Sure, he's got 21 homers, but that's ALL he's doing.

SS: Tony Pena, .261/ .280/ .343. Ahhhh, brings back the memory of Guzman, eh? Supposedly he's got a great glove. He'd have to catch everything between Nebraska and Middle Tennessee to make up for that "bat" though.

2b: Josh Barfield, .243/ .271/ .325. Cleveland thought they were getting a star 2B when they traded Kevin Kouzmanoff. Just looking at that OBP gives me a headache.

3B: Little Nicky Punto, .198/ .288/ .256. If you want to know why the Twins suck this year, this is a good place to look. Those are stats that would kill a deadball era catcher with embarrassment (assuming there's one who hasn't been dead for 75 years).

LF: Craig Monroe, .221/ .262/ .371. Yeesh. No wonder the Tigers DFAd him! He boasts an impressive 96/20 K/BB ratio!

CF: Juan Pierre: .289/ .323/ .346. Stolen bases, blah blah blah. He's got that going for him, I guess. And he's an ok defender, even he throws like me. (and I throw like a girl... a crippled girl)

RF: Delmon Young: .291/ .321/ .410. Those aren't terrible stats, but it's a STRONG year for MLB RFers, and Young has the worst OPS+ of any regular RFer. Sucks to be him.

DH: Sammy Sosa, .246/ .306/ .451. Again, not bad. But you'd want better for a DH, especially in that park.

C: Brad Ausmus, .231/ .312/ .313. You mean there's someone worse than Schneider!? Laird and Kendall are also worse than "Snyder" by OPS+, and neither of them are the defender that Schneider is.

RHS: Ervin Santana, 5-12, 6.38 ERA. Remember when some (I love hiding behind that!) wanted us to trade Soriano to the Angels with him being part of the package?

LHS: Mike Maroth, 5-6, 6.79 ERA. One of the things people cited about the pathetic 2003 Tigers team was that they were willing to give their SP playing time, and that they'd develop in the majors. Look at the roster. Other than Bonderman, have any of 'em worked out? Do we have to put an APB out for Nate Cornejo?

CL: Dan Wheeler, 11 saves, 5.19 ERA. See, anyone can be a closer!

How many games do you think that team would win? Brutal!

Surprisingly, 4 of those 12 players are on teams that would qualify for the post-season if the season ended today.

  • With that, I'm off again for a few days... off to Minnesota to eat fried foods at the fair. Contrary to the rumors, I'm not scouting out bathroom stalls. Have a good Labor Day, and enjoy the Giants series; that might be our last chance for a series win this year!

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