Jesus Can't Hit A Curveball

Post columnist Markc Fisher whines about an upcoming "Faith Night" promotion at the ol' ballyard where zealots of all types can come, listen to bible stories, testimonials from mediocre players, and be entertained by giant, fuzzy anthropomorphic vegetables. He dredges up the Ryan Church affair and contrasts that with this to make some point or another, and finds a yahoo or two to howl with outrage -- I didn't read that closely.

Seems to me he's missing the point. Sure, the night's about religion. But it's not about Catholicism, Judaism, Animism or any other ism, other than the one true religion: Capitalism. The Bible Thumping groups gets money from attendees to their show. The Lerners get extra asses in the otherwise empty seats. And everyone goes home happy and richer... except for the devotees -- well, unless they become spiritually richer. (And if seeing a massive green pepper with over sized eyes and white gloves induces spiritual fulfillment, I'm in the wrong business!)

Meanwhile, I think we all need to band together to ensure that there's a different faith night, one promoting Santeria, the religion of Pedro Cerrano from Major League. Jobu wasn't just a punchline, though. There's a number of major league players and managers who practice it, as the LA Times reports in an interesting article. Ozzie Guillen, the White Sox manager, practices it. But don't condemn him. He saves his animal slaughtering for his home country:

People call me a criminal because we do stuff with blood and animals. I don't blame these people. They believe what they believe and I believe what I believe. Have I ever killed an animal in the States to do my religion? No. I did in my country.

When will the Lerners let us slaughter animals at RFK? Perhaps when the price is right.