Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Larry King Presents

If you're dragged to only one family-friendly movie this holiday season, make it Flushed Away...A return of the Tomo Ohka Experience would be sure to have them packing the aisles...If there's any justice in this brutal world, the new stadium will be named after DC's favorite son, Austin Carr...$5-$10 million for naming rights? I'd gladly tatoo Stan Kasten's signature on my rump for half that...If you're driving in Minneapolis, and you see a sign welcoming you to Hopkins, you're probably lost...Touch your right elbow with your tongue if you think that there is a better GM of a fifth-place NL East team than Jim Bowden...I'm glad to see that the Washington Times saw fit to address one of the pressing issues of our day, the Lerner's cheapness...How cheap are the Lerners? Word on the street is that they had Thanksgiving dinner at the local shelter...

Is there a player that the beat writer for the league-run, internet-only news service hates more than Ryan Church?...If there is, can we trade Church for him so that we can read more rips? They're kind of fun...With the news that Manny Acta has named Pat Corrales as bench coach, I'm reminded of something, but now I've forgotten it... I have a feeling that if there were just one phone line in the Nats front office, and a toolsy Reds former outfielder and a former Braves coach were to be on the open market, the sound of Kasten's and Bowden's heads colliding while scrambling for the phone wouldn't be as loud as I'd hope for, thanks to all the lint in Jimbo's melon...Kasten, of course, would place a priority on signing whichever of those two would work the cheapest...Derek P from Quebec doesn't understand baseball (or the world)...

Pound for pound there's no worse fielder in baseball than Jose Vidro...For future reference, you can tell that Soriano's talking out of his hooha by the foul smell...When I'm looking for good Thai food in Minnesota, I settle on Sawatdee...On the scale of silly trades, Chad Cordero for Wily Mo Pena would rank somewhere below McGriff for Murray...Where are my pills?


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