Saturday, April 02, 2005

The Latest Greatest Projection System: CRAP

When not busily designing the uber-offensive metric (because Lord knows we don't have enough and 98% accuracy isn't enough), I'm honing my projection skills.

Here, in my top-secret laboratories, I've designed a fail-proof projection system that has as much precision as any of those abacus-twirling nutballs. I've got me a protractor, a link to baseball-reference.com, and a bowl of raisin bran for strength. That's all I need, damnit.

Here's the debut of the newest projection system: Chris's Random-Ass Projections, CRAP.
Catcher, Brian "Officer" Schneider

Age 28, LHB
Year Ave. OBP. Slg.
2004 .257 .325 .399
2003 .230 .309 .394
2002 .275 .339 .459
2005 .248 .319 .403; 15 HRs



First Base, Nick "The Walking Stick" Johnson

Age 26, LHB
Year Ave. OBP. Slg.
2004 .251 .359 .398
2003 .284 .422 .472
2002 .243 .347 .402
2005 .268 .384 .437; 145 games played.



Second Base, Jose "Insert Nickname Here" Vidro

Age 30, BB
Year Ave. OBP. Slg.
2004 .294 .367 .454
2003 .310 .397 .470
2002 .315 .378 .490
2005 .286 .375 .468; misses 25 games with injury


Third Base, Vinny "SeƱor Statesman" Castilla

Age Cretaceous/37, RHB
Year Ave. OBP. Slg.
2004 .271 .332 .535
2003 .277 .310 .461
2002 .232 .268 .348!!
2005 .232 .291 .382; 24 HRs 65 RBI



Shortstop, Cristian "There's No H In Groundout" Guzman

Age 27, BB
Year Ave. OBP. Slg.
2004 .274 .309 .384
2003 .268 .311 .365
2002 .273 .292 .385
2005 .278 .318 .394; IBBs help; SB-CS=4



Left Field, Brad "Kentucky Masher" Wilkerson

Age 28, LHB
Year Ave. OBP. Slg.
2004 .255 .374 .498
2003 .268 .380 .464
2002 .266 .370 .469
2005 .271 .391 .479; 138Ks, 124 BBs



Center Field, Ryan "Soul Patch" Church

Age 26, LHB
Year Ave. OBP. Slg.
2004 .175 .257 .238
2005 .256 .311 .417; 15 HRs



Right Field, Jose Guillen, "The Barbarian"

Age 29, RHB
Year Ave. OBP. Slg.
2004 .294 .352 .497
2003 .311 .359 .569
2002 .238 .287 .367!!
2005 .284 .352 .503; 26 HRs, 115 RBI





¡Livan!: 230 IP, 15-11, 7 CG
Esteban Loaiza: 184 IP, 14-10, 4.33 ERA
Tony Armas: 111 IP, 8-2, 3.77 ERA, Traded.
Tomo Ohka: 145 IP, 9-11 4.44 ERA
Zach Day: 112 IP, 7-5 4.32 ERA
Jon Rauch: 129 IP, 6-4 3.43 ERA
Chad Cordero: 2-6, 27 SVs, 4.10 ERA

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