Friday, February 25, 2005

The Red Revolution

Instead of focusing on individual players as they've done recently, the Post and Times get together to unveil the communist influence sneaking through spring training; it's full of Reds.

They could've brought in old Senators or Expos, but instead thought they could sneak relics of the old party past us freedom-lovers. Just look at the lineup: Jose Rijo; Bob "Red Menace" Boone; Barry Larkin; and Frank Robinson. They may claim to be just former Reds, but we know where their real sympathies are. Even our team's leader, Jim Bowden, was a former Red-head! And, as I once pointed out to Ball-Wonk, the innocuous-sounding team name, Nationals reveals their true goal: nationalization of the entire league!

Let's just hope they haven't brainwashed the true freedom fighter on this team -- the one who so boldly rejected these socialist roots, when he fled the stifling grip of his former country to assert his dominance on the National League, ¡Livan!