Sunday, March 05, 2006

Get Yer Bobbleheads

The Nationals released their promotional schedule the other day. On top of the typical crap like magnets are three bobblehead nights: Chad Cordero, Jose Guillen, and (sigh) Screech.

Looking at the relatively spartan schedule, it seems the Nats are missing some great opportunities.

  • Alfonso Soriano Magic Eight Ball Night -- no matter how many times you shake it, it always reads "Signs Point To No."
  • Jose Vidro Spaghetti Strainer Night -- Want to relieve the magic of Jose's fielding at home? Get some pasta, boil some water, and watch the water pass through the strainer like a groundball past Vidro.
  • Cristian Guzman Foam Bat Day -- Perfect for hitting those weak grounders to the infield at home just like your favorite shortstop
  • Nick Johnson Injury Counter Day -- little hand-held device lets you keep track of Nick Johnson's days lost to injury.
  • Jose Guillen Home Medicine Kit Doubleheader -- you, too, can be like Jose. Feeling bad? Just pop the two enclosed aspirin and play through it, pendejo!
  • Ryan Church "I'm With Doom-Ed" T-Shirt night -- helps you preach to the unconverted.
  • Tony Armas Home Emergency Kit -- Don't worry, Armas has you covered. Comes complete with Ace Bandage, Scalpel, and spare ligaments in case of emergency.
  • Jim Bowden Pleather Pants Day -- Make trades in style and let loose your inner Rockstar GM.
  • Frank Robinson Dugout Neck Pillow Afternoon -- perfect for the day game after a night game, this inflatable neck pillow allows you to catch up on those pesky Zs.
  • Eddie Rodriguez Little League Lineup Generator -- Allows you to manage just like your favorite bigleague bench coach. Just input your team's handedness, and it'll spit out all potential L/R/L combos.
  • Charlie Slowes Eggtimer Night -- Flip this convenient 3-hour eggtimer over as a reminder of when to give the score and inning. Also perfect for making potroast.


  • How about "South Capital Street Dirt" --evidence of bulldozer activity for a new stadium? On second thought, maybe they should sell it, and use the proceeds for construction overruns.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/05/2006 4:23 PM  

  • Also on Soriano Magic 8 Ball night: If you throw the 8 Ball at second base and Soriano manages to catch it without making a fielding error, you win a free wig made out of Royce Clayton's collection of old dreadlock hair.

    By Blogger King, at 3/05/2006 4:23 PM  

  • And for the Church shirt, do you get a free picture of Gary Majewski to tape next to the arrow?

    By Blogger King, at 3/05/2006 4:25 PM  

  • The score for partial plan-holders: Plan A 4, 41-Gamer 3, Plan B 1.

    I bought tickets for 20 Nats games, and all I got was this stupid Screech bobblehead. Way to balance that out, there.

    By Blogger Carl, at 3/05/2006 4:38 PM  

  • The lease was accepted!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/05/2006 5:52 PM  

  • eh? lease? ACCEPTED? i see nothing on google news..

    By Blogger Natty Bumpo, at 3/05/2006 6:00 PM  

  • alright!!

    -- kyle

    By Blogger Natty Bumpo, at 3/05/2006 6:03 PM  

  • You're not supposed to shake magic 8-balls! All the kiddies reading CP will pick up bad habits.

    By Blogger Harper, at 3/05/2006 9:07 PM  

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