Get Yer Bobbleheads

The Nationals released their promotional schedule the other day. On top of the typical crap like magnets are three bobblehead nights: Chad Cordero, Jose Guillen, and (sigh) Screech.

Looking at the relatively spartan schedule, it seems the Nats are missing some great opportunities.

• Alfonso Soriano Magic Eight Ball Night -- no matter how many times you shake it, it always reads "Signs Point To No."
  
• Jose Vidro Spaghetti Strainer Night -- Want to relieve the magic of Jose's fielding at home? Get some pasta, boil some water, and watch the water pass through the strainer like a groundball past Vidro.
  
• Cristian Guzman Foam Bat Day -- Perfect for hitting those weak grounders to the infield at home just like your favorite shortstop
  
• Nick Johnson Injury Counter Day -- little hand-held device lets you keep track of Nick Johnson's days lost to injury.
  
• Jose Guillen Home Medicine Kit Doubleheader -- you, too, can be like Jose. Feeling bad? Just pop the two enclosed aspirin and play through it, pendejo!
  
• Ryan Church "I'm With Doom-Ed" T-Shirt night -- helps you preach to the unconverted.
  
• Tony Armas Home Emergency Kit -- Don't worry, Armas has you covered. Comes complete with Ace Bandage, Scalpel, and spare ligaments in case of emergency.
  
• Jim Bowden Pleather Pants Day -- Make trades in style and let loose your inner Rockstar GM.
  
• Frank Robinson Dugout Neck Pillow Afternoon -- perfect for the day game after a night game, this inflatable neck pillow allows you to catch up on those pesky Zs.
  
• Eddie Rodriguez Little League Lineup Generator -- Allows you to manage just like your favorite bigleague bench coach. Just input your team's handedness, and it'll spit out all potential L/R/L combos.
  
• Charlie Slowes Eggtimer Night -- Flip this convenient 3-hour eggtimer over as a reminder of when to give the score and inning. Also perfect for making potroast.