Bleeding Sharks

I'm browsing Stubhub to see if I can poach a cheap ticket for tomorrow's Stephen Strasburg start, and...  One sec, guys. Phone call.  

-- Hey.  Wanna go see Strasburg pitch tomorrow?  Mark Zuckerman, Adam Kilgore and Dan Steinberg told me he's pitching....  What?  Really?  When?  ....  Huh.  I knew I shouldn't have tuned out stuff from the last week.  Oh well.  Hey, I gotta let you go, I'm trying to finish up a blog post, and I've gotta go get the mac and cheese off the stove....  You too.  Bye.

Sorry about that.    Where was I?  Oh, um, well, I was hoping to see Aaron Harang pitch tomorrow, and I see there are lots of cheap seats.  Apparently Strasburg -- as was speculated by some -- will not be pitching.  Which makes sense considering the 143,000 available on the site.

Here's what I love about that though.    If you sort by quantity, there must be 30 sections that have 20+ seats available.  Those fucking scumbag speculating ticket scalping mofos are taking a bath.  I love it.  They speculated and bought up hundreds of those terrible sun-facing scoreboard seats, and now they've gotta eat them.  Every last one of 'em.  I love it.  I'm getting the same kind of visceral thrill I get when I spray an insect with Raid.  Die, mothers, die! 

Still, their incompetence, and blood suckedness benefits you.  You can get a ticket for $1-2.  Strap your hip flask on, and you've got a cheap night to match the quality of the typical Nats fan's date.