I'm browsing Stubhub to see if I can poach a cheap ticket for tomorrow's Stephen Strasburg start, and... One sec, guys. Phone call.
-- Hey. Wanna go see Strasburg pitch tomorrow? Mark Zuckerman, Adam Kilgore and Dan Steinberg told me he's pitching.... What? Really? When? .... Huh. I knew I shouldn't have tuned out stuff from the last week. Oh well. Hey, I gotta let you go, I'm trying to finish up a blog post, and I've gotta go get the mac and cheese off the stove.... You too. Bye.
Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh, um, well, I was hoping to see Aaron Harang pitch tomorrow, and I see there are lots of cheap seats. Apparently Strasburg -- as was speculated by some -- will not be pitching. Which makes sense considering the 143,000 available on the site.
Here's what I love about that though. If you sort by quantity, there must be 30 sections that have 20+ seats available. Those fucking scumbag speculating ticket scalping mofos are taking a bath. I love it. They speculated and bought up hundreds of those terrible sun-facing scoreboard seats, and now they've gotta eat them. Every last one of 'em. I love it. I'm getting the same kind of visceral thrill I get when I spray an insect with Raid. Die, mothers, die!
Still, their incompetence, and blood suckedness benefits you. You can get a ticket for $1-2. Strap your hip flask on, and you've got a cheap night to match the quality of the typical Nats fan's date.