This Isn't Hard

You go to Guzman, you say "Hey, you overrated, bunion-infested, lazy piece of crap. We've given you half a bazillion dollars over the last half decade. Yes, I said half a freakin' decade, you no-good waste of a roster space. You're moving to second. You've got a few weeks before spring to get ready. We expect you to show up, motivated to play second, and we'll try you out there. If you can handle the position, you're coming north. If not, we're exposing your overpaid ass to waivers, where nobody will claim you, at which point you're either going to join Colon Battlestar in Syracuse, or you're going to spend the summer getting even farkin fatter on your ass in wherever it is you call your home. Understood?"

In other words, you Soriano the bastard.

Ian Desmond simply has to be the shortstop this season. I don't care who the second baseman. It's apparently not going to be Hudson. If it's Kennedy, so be it. Doesn't much matter. All that matters it that they give Desmond 500 ABs to see whether the kid can play.

This isn't a team that's going to win the Series. But Desmond COULD be a player who'll be here in 4 years when the team can pretend it's good. So play the bastard. Get his ears wet.

He slugged .477 in the minors last year, and he showed solid power potential in his brief time up here last year. Play the damn kid. Let's see what his bat can give us.

You'll hear the lazy, vacuous phrase about how he has "problems with the routine plays." Blah. Give him a full season, with major-league instruction, watching opposing major-league players, and on major-league (read: not clod-filled) fields, and see what happens. If he makes 30 errors, who gives a shit? Give him experience. See if he improves.

If he does, FANTASTIC. If he doesn't, who cares? Better to find out in a season where your best-case scenario is .500 than when you're hoping for high 80s.

And if you get there by dumping Guzman's carcass outside Kenilworth Gardens, so be it.