Thursday, March 30, 2006

AL Preview

Back by no demand whatsoever, and using the artform most abused by dorks like me on the internet, it's my season preview. Today, the American League in haiku. Feel free to bookmark, and point out my failings come October.

EAST
Yankees (94-68)
Mercenaries all:
At first Randy now Johnny
Samson's hair is shorn.

Red Sox (92-70)
Old Monster looms high
Not just Manny, but Schilling
fighting off line drives

Blue Jays (85-77)
Ka-Ching goes the cash
Full of J's, both B and A
Snap! Goes the elbow

Orioles (78-84)
Smack right in the butt
goes a vial of B-12
making Leo rock.

Devil Rays (67-95)
Ding Dong! Vince is gone!
Please pay no attention to
Last place or curtains.

CENTRAL
Indians (94-68)
Young, experienced
We could have had a threeway
They failed us last year

White Sox (92-69)
Small ball was their key
or so the lazy scribes said
Two hundred home runs!

Twins (83-79)
Inflatable Roof
plastic grass and Hefty bag
Why watch them? Johan!

Tigers (70-92)
Despite the new park
fans will turn away in droves.
So will Tiger wins.

Royals (59-103)
Owning this team is
like walking on broken glass.
Wal Mart takes returns?

WEST
A's (93-69)
Statheads love their Beane
even if Beane makes them crap
out in the playoffs

Angels (88-74)
California,
Anaheim and now LA.
Just call them second.

Rangers (81-81)
Sans Soriano
ERA drops like a ball
hit hard at his glove

Mariners (72-90)
Smash! past second base
And now Ichiro rounds first
stranded by Beltre.

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