Friday, January 18, 2008

The Ray King Health Plan

Thanks to the always terrific Shysterball, comes dieting advice from Ray King.

Yes, dieting advice from Ray King.

What's the secret for this world-class athlete (file swimsuit photo)? Cutting down on carbs? Hitting the elliptical machine for 3 hours a day? No longer ordering Frito Lay products directly from the manufacturer?

Nope.

Less Sprite. And more pork chops.

Seriously.

I'm putting this sentence here so I can have another short paragraph.

I'm training to write for a newspaper.

Stay Tuned when ESPN The Magazine brings us other important Nats-related articles:
-- Marriage Advice from Dmitri Young
-- Brevity and Clarity in communications from Stan Kasten.
-- Living beyond your means with Uncle Teddy.
-- Dealing with life's little pressures with Chad Cordero
-- Child Care with Elijah Dukes
-- Cutting-Edge Humor and Brilliant Insights from various Nats Bloggers

posted by Chris Needham at 9:23 AM

10 Comments:

  • Hey give the man a break on the "other white meat". That was pork chops on the grill, not baked with stuffing to save up all the grease! As a semi-king size type myself (225 pounds) I know that that is a real change!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/18/2008 12:31 PM  

  • OK- I don't get the Chad joke. Please explain.

    Thanks!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/18/2008 12:33 PM  

  • Funny comments Chris, but for comedic effect you are spinning the article's contents a bit. The man could stand to lose more than 25 lbs, but that's a decent start.

    Not to defend the "fat one" too much, but diet tips don't have to be wacky or totally new to be smart. Ray is right, not drinking sugary sodas will help a lot. A 12oz can has at least 120 calories. Multiply that by 3 sodas a day, and that's quite a few pounds you can lose in a year. And he's avoiding fast food and grilling lean meats at home (not just pork chops).

    Now the rest of your people and their tips, THAT was funny.

    Don't mock Ray King, he'll be a svelt 238 at the start of the season, you watch!

    PS: Can Ray get Cordero to lose a few? His flat hat bill makes up for his very round double chin.

    By Blogger test, at 1/18/2008 1:30 PM  

  • The man could stand to lose more than 25 lbs, but that's a decent start

    It's a decent start, but he's had a full offseason. He's a professional athlete or says he is. You can lose far more than 25 pounds in 6 months through dedication and a very good diet.

    If he's 245 he's still in terrible shape.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/18/2008 1:33 PM  

  • Chris, uou are on fire with the file photos. By the way, has anyone contacted the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration? I'm pretty sure that whenever Dmitri Young has a mound conference with Ray King that the tides of the Anacostia River are thrown out of rhythm.

    By Blogger Harlan, at 1/18/2008 1:54 PM  

  • OK- I don't get the Chad joke. Please explain

    Uhh, "life's little pressures"?He's a closer-who blew a good number of games in 2007?

    Still need more clues?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/18/2008 8:59 PM  

  • Don't forget:

    Playing Hurt by Nick Johnson.
    Playing Small Ball with Manny Acta.
    Living Sober by Jim Bowden
    Overachieving in Life by FLop

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/19/2008 1:04 AM  

  • I guess I may be the only one to think your titles were cruel...and not funny. I look at articles in this space because I am interested in baseball related news, ideas and comments. Your last posting did not measure up to these objectives unlike many of the other postings you have made in the past.

    By Blogger RL Consulting Services Inc.,, at 1/19/2008 9:47 AM  

  • i just read that the cubs want a right handed hitting out fielder. i thought maney jimbo could trade Austin Kearns with money for felix Pie. we get want we want another young toosley out fielder for Kearns who will play center for them. then Pie in left Milliage in center and Pena in right then Dukes compets with Pie for the starting job in spring traning what do you think?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/19/2008 8:28 PM  

  • Well, Robert, I'm not necessarily a fan of gratuitous cruelty, either, but this was a funny post.

    The last line ("Cutting-Edge Humor..."), as well as the allusion to the Four-Letter Magazine, provided a much-needed irony break in a quirky and sometimes tense offseason.

    Plus, Chris didn't pick on Bacsik this time.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/21/2008 10:56 AM  

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