Tim Russert Is The Devil

You may have noticed the perpetually empty seats in the front row behind the Nats dugout the last few years. You may have also noticed on rare weekend days, they'd be occupied by a wild-haired, big-boned guy with the perpetual goofy smile of a drunk college student. How'd he get those prime seats -- sometimes alongside noted orc, James Carville? Easy, he's a celebrity -- wait, "celebrity" -- Nats fan.

I can live with that I guess. If there's one thing I've learned in DC, it's that people more famous than I deserve special treatment.

But hold on a minute. What's this? Tim Russert is hosting a debate -- a debate that's the height of masturbatory excess I might add parenthetically -- of the "candidates" for the President of "Red Sox Nation." Jesus, typing that makes me want to puke in Cordero's glove... At any rate, here's the key bit:

Russert, an avowed Red Sox fan, will swing by Boston after moderating the Democratic Presidential Debate in Hanover, NH on Wednesday evening.

"For decades, Boston has had a reputation of adoring its sports and its politics," said Larry Lucchino, the Red Sox' President/CEO. "We are honored that one of our top fans in Washington will moderate this discussion about baseball.

(Emphasis Added!)
Whiskey! Tango! Fox... eh... fuck it!

This pseudo-celebrity knobgobbler should immediately have his tickets taken away, kicked to the back of the curb and forcibly made to sit in a place where the hottest parts of the sun would bake his sorry Buffalo hide each and every time some crappo like Mike Bacsik pitches.

Stan Kasten, we look to you to do the right thing! Kick this wannabe Nats fan creepazoid out of the good seats, and put him in the back of the line with all the other fairweather idiots. You owe it to all of us who've suffered through two years of watching Ramon Ortiz, Pedro Astacio, Levalle Speigner and Joel Hanrahan pitch.