Pants On Fire

And the Scummie&trade for Most Ridiculous, Self-Serving Statement goes to... [drumroll]

Bob Dupuy!

Bob DuPuy insisted the time line for naming a Nationals owner would have no bearing on the team's success.

"All of that is patent nonsense," DuPuy said of the criticism, which was levied last week by Nationals manager Frank Robinson and some city officials. "The team is being professionally and competently managed, and it has been throughout. Tony Tavares is a wonderful and experienced baseball executive who did a wonderful job. We won't drop a beat with regard to the operation of the team."

I suppose that he's right (from a certain point of evil, malevolent, calculating, hard-hearted, callous, greedy, shallow, bureaucratic point of view). I mean, from an operations standpoint, they have been running quite successfully. I haven't heard about the trailerpark at the RFK ghetto catching on fire lately. They've only had one of their employees gunned down.

Further, they've quite successfully drawn up plans for a third (well, fourth, I suppose) jersey (coincidentally, just in time for Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus). And they professionally and competently raised ticket prices!

Maybe I'll have to take back the Scummie? Nah!

That is the statement of a delusional man. A man so wrapped up in his own petty side and so concerned with protecting his image and the image of his precious Tsar Bud that he'll say the most ridiculous things possible. But the sad thing is that like the buck-naked emperor, Mr. Dupuy (and using Mr. chartiably stretches its very definition) honestly believes that he's right.

Meanwhile, all Nationals fans are getting is the occasional glimpse of a 70-year-old, pallid, wrinkly thingamabob.

Mr Dupuy, on behalf of all Nationals fans, put on some farkin' pants and wake up to reality, you lying sack of crap.