Sunday, September 11, 2005

Snippy Rants From An Angry, Demoralized Fan

Lotsa Stupidity lately.... Where to start?

  • John Patterson, who Nationals Farm Authority pointed out has lacked the ace's mentality when it comes to nagging injuries, says: "I don't want to hurt the team or myself with the weight that I've lost. I have to get some energy and health back. Someone that is healthy can do better than I can."

    1) Where could that guy lose weight? His eyelashes?
    2) Has the guy seen the schlock Frank trots out there? John could probably lob the ball up there with his left hand better than John Halama.

    Just a side note... Remember Frank's genius masterstroke of going to a four-man rotation? Patterson, Loaiza, and Livan combined to give up 17 runs the last time through the order. John Halama, the presumed 4th starter (snicker!), gave up just one earned run; but Frank only let him throw two-thirds of an inning.

  • Just in case you still weren't sure whether Brad Wilkerson hates Jose Guillen...

    Sez Guillen: "Lot of times, you see a lot of guys that don't really care, but what can you do? A lot of guys are tired. They probably want to go home."

    Sez Wilkerson: "If people have problems with people not wanting to win, he needs to tell them and not send it through you guys."

    Buck Sez Wilkerson finds himself on a new team to start next season.

  • Jose Guillen, Master Strategist:
    "We just need to be smart enough to know which players to pitch around. Frank is the manager, and he needs to step up and make those moves, but I'm not a manager, I'm not a pitching coach, I'm not a pitcher. To me, there's no reason to be pitching to Andruw right now, the way he's been swinging."

    He's right to a point, but this guy sure loves to run his mouth. (Especially when he does something good.) It's as if he believes his game-winning double gives him immunity in the clubhouse.

  • Bill Ladson shows, again, why he's not receiving a call from the Pulitzer Committee. (When talking about the Nationals starting pitching problems...)
    "Manager Frank Robinson is not sure who will start if Patterson can't go. The Nationals don't have a fourth or fifth starter because of injuries to right-handers Tony Armas Jr. and Ryan Drese."

    Where's the second half of that clause? Where's the "because our incompetent tool of a General Manager managed to squander every last bit of depth the starting rotation had in a misguided attempt to strengthen the outfield repeatedly despite the team's true gaping holes being at shortstop and third base, which, not coincidentally, are the two positions that the hack tried to fix in the offseason."

    Special Note for Bill (because I know he's known to google himself): Feel free to copy and paste that statement for any of your recaps; perhaps a variant could be useful in a season recap? Cheers!

  • Wondering why Preston Wilson sucks defensively, despite assurances from the Nationals scouts that he was a plus defender (and please don't point out that they gave favorable reviews to Cristian Guzman either; piling on isn't fair!)?

    The roof's too high, silly!

    Funny, Wilkerson, Church, Byrd, Chavez, or any of the other 25 centerfielders somehow managed.

    It couldn't have anything to do with his Vidro-quality knees? Or the fact that he must have a 45-inch inseam, despite not being all that tall?

  • Jose Guillen's taking over the coveted Nationals' cliche championship from Brad Wilkerson. (I'm only picking on Jose because he's about the only player who gives quotes).

    Feel free to add a dinging sound as you read; it really adds to your reading experience:
    "We are not done yet. [1] There are a lot of games left. [2] We have to take care of every game day by day [3]. We have to play as if it's our last game [4]. ... I hope we come together [5] with the same heart [6] and just get the job done. [7]"

    Well played, good man!

  • "Everybody wants to finish off the season as well as they can," said [Frank] Robinson. "If [Cristian Guzman] was hitting .1995, I would sit him."

    I'd snark, but It's hard to type while I'm sobbing.


    • If I'm Wilkerson I'm glad to leave. Last year I was the best player on the team. All I asked was if possible could I play LF all year, maybe bat a little lower in the lineup. Instead:
      1) I played CF most of the year, including when we had brought up rookie CF after rookie CF
      2) I batted lead-off most of the year
      3) Played most of the year injured while Frank occasionally would question why I wasn't hitting 30 HRs
      4) you paired me in the outfield with a crazy bastard (Did you catch him calling out Frank for pitching to Andruw)

      Is there an opening in Pittsburgh?

      By Blogger Harper, at 9/12/2005 9:35 AM  

    • re: preston wilson, have you noticed how deep he positions himself these days? almost at the warning track for the other team's best hitters. i know he has issues adjusting to balls behind him, but the result has been way too many bloop hits to CF.

      By Blogger Natty Bumpo, at 9/12/2005 9:37 AM  

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