Thursday, December 16, 2004

What A Day This Has Been! What A Rare Mood I’m In…

The sun rose. I woke up. It’s a great day for DC!

Linda Cropp has saved us from ourselves! Thanks to her true leadership and her expert stewardship of the stadium bill, DC residents find themselves $450 million richer!

That’s a lot of money! Think of what we can do with that kind of money? $450 million will build a lot of schools, will reopen DC General and even build us some new parks and recreations centers. Think of how well-stocked our libraries will be now!

We’ve got this huge bonanza of cash now, since we don’t’ have to worry about public financing of the baseball stadium. I’m so excited!

Admittedly, I’m one of those commutin’ jerks who just come in and hogs up resources, but I’m sure with that kind of windfall that they can finally fix some of those potholes on the streets? Maybe have the roads plowed within a week of snowfall? And, I know this is a stretch, but could you please make sure that when a car breaks down on 395, that it gets towed within a month--before all the vandals can strip it down to just a pile of rivets?

I hope my simple requests aren’t too much.

Hell, since it’s Christmastime, I wouldn’t even be opposed to a one-time transfer payment to all the citizens of DC. There are roughly 530,000 people in DC. Quick math tells me that every man, woman and child can expect a $850 check in their Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus Stockings/Mennorahs/???/Aluminum Pole.

Think of what that could do for the children! What a great day for the District! I’m so happy to be alive!